Wrong
by OliviaLanae
Summary: Rory isn't herself. I suck at these things, so just read it.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : This is my very first fan fiction piece that I've posted online. Don't be to harsh, but critique fairly. If I suck, tell me so, but do it nicely. (: Thanks, and have a nice day/night/morning. **

**This takes place in sort of an alternate universe type thing. I stopped watching Gilmore Girls after season … like 5? So I don't really know everything that happened. Sorry. I wish I did. If there are any hardcore GG fan, who wants to catch me up on everything, I'd be eternally grateful. 3**

**Disclaimer : I don't own Gilmore Girls, or The Fray, or Paramore, or the brand name stuff… Pretty much all I own is Kale, and the plot. Any similarity to anything else you've read or heard is purely coincidental. Thanks.**

**For people who read the this the first time : My little sister deleted a few paragraphs, which would explain the hole in the story. I'll make sure to make back-ups for all my chapters. 33**

The old, ratty couch welcomed me warmly.

I'm not sure when it happened, or why it happened, but somewhere during my life, I ended up alone. I'm 25 now and I'm all alone. I live in a one bedroom flat in Ohio with nothing but my books and my computer. I have one friend, Kale. He's there for me 24/7. He always knows what to say; even if it's not what I want to hear.

Kale was sitting on the counter, swinging his legs idly while staring me down.

"Rory, something is wrong. What's going on?" he said.

"Nothing," I whispered.

I walked around the coffee table, ignoring everything Kale was saying.

Truth is, I was cursing myself for letting things go this way. If you were to tell me that I was going to be alone, unemployed and a college drop out when I was 18, I would've laughed so hard I probably would've peed my pants.

My bed, my wonderfully barely used bed, hurt really bad when I laid on it. I've slept in this bed less than ten times in the past two years. My bedroom only holds my clothes and shoes. My fridge contains beer, wine, Vodka, orange juice and eggs. My freezer has only ice. I have a problem. I'll be the first to tell you that, but I'm not ready to give it up. I won't give up the booze or the coke.

"Rory," Kale wined.

"Go away, Kale!" I yelled.

He started scratching at the door like a lovesick puppy.

My head was pounding, my heart was aching, and my addiction was whispering.

I jumped up and practically ran to the kitchen.

The door to the fridge creaked loudly.

"_Drink me,"_ the red wine bottle taunted.

"Put it down, Rory," Kale warned.

I shook my head and poured my glass. It soothed my worries and the voices stopped.

"What am I gonna do when you die?" Kale said seriously after I finished the second bottle of wine.

I shrugged. "You'll find someone else to take care of."

"Rory, I'm not taking care of you. I'm watching you kill yourself."

I shrugged after taking a line off the back of my hand. "You don't have to be here."

"Why won't you stop this?"

"I don't have a reason to."

"Jesus, Ror'. Do I even matter to you?"

Black. I passed out quick this time.

"Rory… Wake up!"

It was the voice of a child. The voice of a little girl.

"God!" I yelled.

"No, just Kale," he smiled.

"Stop talking so loud!" I half-whispered.

He nodded and handed me a glass.

"What is this?"

"Drink."

The liquid hit my mouth. No taste, no heat, no burn, nothing. I choked.

"What the hell is this?"

"Water."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You asshole."

"You need to drink water," he said.

"I don't."

"You do."

We fought back and forth like that for at least five minutes. He tried to get me by saying 'you don't', but I'm smarter than that and said 'you're right'.

"Well, fuck," he sighed.

I got up from the couch and grabbed the baggie of white powder. I grabbed the mirror off of the counter and covered it in the coke. My razor was in the freezer. I grabbed it and cut the lines long and thick. Oxygen filled my lungs and I pushed it all out. The coke hit my brain and I smiled. The air from the fridge made me shiver as I grabbed a Corona.

"Who's Jess?" Kale asked me.

The glass shattered as I dropped it.

His oily hair sliding through my fingers when his cigarette coated breath covered my face as I pulled away from his kiss. His callused fingers touched places no one else has.

I fell to the floor trying to pick up the pieces. Jess, home, mom, Luke, school, writing, hope. I imagined each piece of the bottle as pieces of my life, and just like reality, I threw it all away.

"What's wrong?" Kale grabbed me as I started sobbing.

"He was so perfect, so… He was so 'Jess'. I can't... I need… Let me go!" I pushed him away.

"So, who is he?"

I looked at Kale. My best friend.

Kale worked at the café, and we talked for hours the first day I got to this little town. His dark brown eyes sparkled, and his light brown hair was flawless, and he told me that I was beautiful. I didn't want a relationship, so we settled for being friends. We hung out every day for a month, and that is how this blessed friendship came to be.

"Hello? Earth to Rory. Who is he?"

"He's my ex-boyfriend," I whispered.

"What happened?" he asked wrapping his arms around me again.

"I don't remember…"

"Oh."

"How did you know?"

"You said, 'Jess, come back', like five times last night."

I grabbed the bottle of Vodka and ran in the bathroom.

"No Rory! Don't you do this! Don't do this to me!"

I sat on the floor and opened the bottle.

It burned as it went down, but that burning sensation transformed into a warm, tingly feeling throughout the upper half of my body. The second gulp pushed the tingly feeling to my feet.

"Rory! Please!"

I turned the shower radio on full blast. The Fray filled the room and reverberated off my numb eardrums.

"_I found God on the corner of First and Amistad. Where the West was all but won. All alone, smoking his last cigarette. I said 'where you been?' He said 'ask anything'… Where were you when everything was fallin' apart? All my days were spent by the telephone, that never rang and all I needed was a call. That never came to the corner of First and Amistad._

_Lost and insecure; you found me. You found me…"_

The bottle was gone before the song was over. I grabbed the bottle of Hot Damn from under the sink and looked around the room. I pulled myself to the tub and got in. I turned the knobs so the water was slightly hotter than I could stand. The tub filled up quickly. I smiled and turned the water off.

I sat in the water, drinking from the bottle, ignoring the banging on the door.

"_When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind,"_ I started singing with the music. _"He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it. And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget. And that was the day that I promised I never sing of love if it does not exist. Darling, you are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception. … Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts. And we've got to find other ways to make it alone, or keep a straight face. I've always lived like this: keeping a comfortable distance. And up until now I have sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness, because none of it was ever worth the risk. Well, you are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception. ….. I've got a tight grip on reality and I can't let go of what's in front of me here. I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up. Leave me with some kind of proof its not a dream ohh…"_

My voice trailed off and I couldn't sing anymore. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I pulled my knees to my chest. As I sobbed, I heard the strain I had put on my voice from screaming at Kale for the last few days.

I let the water out as I felt the drowsiness starting to set in.

The sign read 'Welcome to Stars Hollow'.

I shook my head and sighed. I wasn't ready yet. I needed to clear my head.

The bridge.

I parked my car on the outskirts of town and walked to the bridge.

It was old and worn out.

"_A lot of memories here," _his voice haunted_ "that's where Luke pushed me in."_

I laid on the edge and dangled my feet in the water.

"Jess," I whispered. "Where did we go wrong?"

I closed my eyes and let the sun bathe me in its heat.

After a while, my head was cleared, so I walked to the diner.

"I'll be right with you!" Luke called from the back.

I sat at the counter with my head down.

"What can I get you?" Luke asked standing in front of me.

"Coffee, please," I said without looking up.

He set a mug in front of me and poured the brown liquid in it.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"No problem, sweetie."

I've missed this coffee.

I looked up and smiled.

"R…Rory?" Luke said, stunned.

I nodded.

"Oh my god. Rory… You… You're… I…"

"I'm sick, Luke. I'm really sick."

"Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"Not that kind of sick. I'm… I have a problem."

He stared at me hard. "What kind of problem?"

I couldn't find the right words. I looked at him. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I uhh," I scratched my neck. "I'm an alcoholic and a crack head."

I heard the air leave his body with a _whoosh_. "Oh, Rory."

I could hear the disappointment in his voice and it broke my heart. I can't believe I let it go this far. "I'm so sorry," I cried. "I thought I could control it. I thought everything would be okay, but it's not Luke. It's really not and I can't do this alone."

"EVERYBODY OUT!" Luke yelled pushing people out the door. "Out. Don't come back today!"

He shut the door, locked it, and flipped the sign from 'open' to 'closed'.

"Okay. What are your options?" Luke asked.

I shrugged. "It hurts Luke. It really hurts."

He grabbed my trembling hands and kissed them. "Let's call your mom."

"No! No. Please, don't."

Luke smiled at me. "Okay. Okay."

"Can I stay here?"

"Let me take all the alcohol out first."

I nodded.

He kissed my forehead and walked upstairs.


	2. Chapter 2

**So, I still don't own Gilmore Girls… Although it would be totally awesome if I did…Any songs that appear in this chapter aren't mine.**

**Any references to anything that has been published by another person, isn't mine.**

**I pretty much own the plot… that's about it.**

**Also, I don't know anything about the layout of Luke's place. & I'm almost positive that Jess slept on a couch (?) I don't know. I got the first few seasons on DVD, and I'm going to watch them ASAP, but with school and everything, I don't have a lot of time. Wiki doesn't help much either. :/**

**Oh, and for the sake of the story, Rory didn't lose her virginity to Dean and Luke and Lorelai That would just ruin everything for my story line. (I don't have a story line I just make it up as I go. :P)**

**Fuck it. I'm making this an alternate reality story. Hopefully you can follow.**

_Ring Ring… Ring Ring…_

"Hello?" I said into my phone.

"Jesus fucking Christ! Where the hell are you?" Kales voice cut through me like knives.

"Kale, I don't want you to have to take care of me anymore. I'm getting help now. I can't talk right now. I promise I'll call you when I'm better."

_Click._

I hung up.

I fell back on the bed. A bed that has been slept in. A bed that conforms to by body and holds me close, like arms of a lover. I've been on this bed for 19 hours and I've done nothing but sit on the bed and stare at the couch. The couch that _he_ slept on. I didn't want to touch it, I didn't want to even go near it, but I wanted to feel him. I wanted to be happy like I was when he was here. I want to look into those chocolate eyes and melt like I used to. I want to breathe in his smell, and taste him on my tongue, and hear that smooth voice. I want Jess.

I dreamed of him that night. I actually dreamed. For the first time in months, I actually had a dream.

Jess was standing at the end of the road, and I was running to him. The faster I ran, the farther away I got. I called his name, I told him to meet me halfway, I cried out to him, and he didn't even turn around.

The next morning I woke up to Luke shaking me lightly.

"Rory, it's time to wake up," he whispered.

I groan and roll over. "It's too bright in here," I said quietly.

"I'm sorry. I'll close the blinds."

Once I heard the clack of the blinds closing, I looked at Luke. His soft eyes made me feel at ease.

"Do you need anything?" he asked gently.

"Something for the pain?"

Pain. Nothing could fix this pain. It hurts to deep. Nothing can reach it. Not Tylenol, Percocet, Vodka, cocaine. Nothing can make this hurt go away. No mater what I do, I will never feel normal. There will always be a throbbing feeling in my chest from the jaggedness of my broken heart. Alcohol, coke, pain pills, they numb the pain just enough for me to stand it. Even when it is numbed though, it still hurts. Nothing ever goes completely numb. Like when your at the dentist, getting a tooth pulled, they numb you, but you can still kind of feel the tug on your gums. It doesn't hurt terribly, but it doesn't feel good.

No, I don't. I do _not _feel good. I feel like…

Bathroom.

I put my head over the toilet and well, you know.

"Oh honey," Luke cooed as he pulled my hair away from my face.

I was totally embarrassed.

Luke, the guy I've known since I can remember, is now watching me throw up, holding my hair, keeping secrets from my mom, letting me live with him, and helping me quit my addictions. Luke deserves the 'Best Citizen/Friend of All Times' award.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered after I flushed the toilet and laid my head on the side of the tub. It's cool and comforting. I closed my eyes.

I heard the water from the sink running and then a warm rag was placed on my forehead. "It's completely okay."

"No, it's not. I was supposed to be this well-kept, straight-A, pristine, virgin child, and now I'm sitting in my moms best friends bathroom, throwing up, and being a nuisance."

"You're not a nuisance," he said softly, as he sat next to me and wrapped his arms around me. "You, Rory Leigh Gilmore, could never be a nuisance."

I sigh and look up at him. "You're such a nice person."

He kissed the top of my head. "You're such a nice person, too."

"So, I've been thinking, and when I stop detoxing, and I'm working on not needing the crutch of drugs and alcohol, can I clean the apartment and paint it? It's getting kinda grungy in here," I asked one day while we sat and ate breakfast. Well, he ate breakfast. I had a piece of cheese.

"What color?" he probed with caution.

"The same color. I'm not going to change your apartment, it just needs to be repainted, it's getting old and worn out."

He nodded gently. "I'll get some paint and paint brushes tomorrow."

I smiled slightly. "Thanks, Luke."

"I've gotta go open the diner before your mom thinks something is wrong and comes to investigate," he said standing up.

"Good idea."

"I'll be back up to check on you later."

"Okay."

_**- Luke's Perspective -**_

I walked down to the diner and said hello to the Ron and Jake, two guys I had preparing food in the kitchen. I flipped the sign and walked back into the kitchen to help with the food. I grabbed the bucket of chopped potatoes that I peeled and cut while Rory was sleeping and poured a some of it onto the left side of the flat top grill and put a couple dozen slices of bacon on the right side.

"Bacon and hash browns on my side," I called out to the boys.

"Eggs, ham and biscuits," Ron said from behind me.

"Gravy, sausage, grits, boiling eggs, and making toast," Jake said down a way from me.

"Thanks guys. Keep an eye on this, Ron, I have to go warm up the doughnuts and make the coffee."

I walked back to the counter and put the coffee on.

"Luke!" Lorelai yelled coming in.

Despite her appearance, she was very happy sounding.

After Rory left, Lorelai took a turn for the worse. She never wore make-up, barely did her hair, and her clothes didn't match most of the time. She didn't even try anymore. Rory leaving broke her heart, and the fact that she never called sent her into a deep, dark depression. Her voice was the only thing that was the same. She was still sarcastic, loud, and aggressive, and I was proud of her for keeping, at least, that much.

"Please, do not yell at me. I do not want to do be yelled at first thing in the morning."

"Well, I want coffee and I want it now," she said in her halfway sarcastic voice.

I sighed and grabbed a coffee cup. I poured the coffee and slid it over to her.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing. Slept on my shoulder wrong," I muttered.

All she said was, "oh."

I nodded and rubbed my shoulder. I wasn't lying. My shoulder did hurt and I did sleep on it wrong last night, but I was worried about Rory. She didn't look good, she didn't eat good, and she didn't sleep good. Her pale face was whiter than I had ever seen it, she was skinnier than skinny, she would eat a few pieces of cheese a day if that, and every night, she would toss and turn and cry herself to sleep, and it worried me to death.

"Luke," Lorelai said softly. "I've gotta go. I'll be back at lunch okay?"

I nodded and walked back in the kitchen. "I'll be back down in a few minutes."

I walked upstairs and into the apartment. Rory was asleep on the bed. She was really asleep.

"Jess," she mumbled.

Oh, no.

"Please, come back," her voice shook. "Just one more time."

I sighed and went back downstairs. I picked up the phone and dialed Jess' number.

It rang three times and then a girl answered.

"I need to talk to Jess," I said.

"Who?" she giggled.

"Jess."

It was silent for a minute and then I heard her whisper to Jess. "I thought your name was Ted."

"No, it's Jess and you can go home now," Jess said annoyed. "Hello?"

"Jess, I need you to come back here for a few days."

"Why?"

"I just need you to. Please."

"Umm, alright. I, I guess I can come… Just, I'll be there tomorrow morning."

"Alright. Bye."

I hung up before he had time to change his mind.

I hope she doesn't hate me for this.


End file.
